Little boy

So, he finally made an expression while on the swing and thankfully, it's a happy face. 

I got this picture from my mother when I was at work. I was delighted to find that my child was happy, warm, and well cared for and heart broken to see him smiling at someone else during the fun, sunny activity. I love getting pictures at work and yet, saddened as well. The days are intense and packed with busyness. I feel like a broken record because I write and say the same things over and over about the new, frantic pace of life. I just wish for some kind of slower. I was rocking and nursing Hunter tonight while playing on my phone. The surfing of Pinterest and food blogs is so appealing after a full day, but I also long to fling the darn iPhone out of the window in order to be truly present to the here and now. The feel of Hunter's little hand in mine, the soft sound of him swallowing the food that my body makes just for him, the warmth of his sweet body in his pajamas. 

Last night was a hard one with the wee boy. He ate during the night and then wanted to be held instead of put back in the crib. I made sure he was okay and then laid him back down. He cried for 1.5 hours. I checked on him a couple of times and reassured him of my presence, but oh my goodness, he cried forever. It broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes. However, I just couldn't hold him all night and he had to go back to sleep on his own. I didn't go back to sleep until he did because sleeping while he cried felt like abandoning my child. Hunter was all smiles this morning which was reassuring because in my head I thought he might wake up mad at me! 

Can we also just talk about how big he is?! It was shocking to get that picture and truly notice his size. He's a little boy! An infant no longer! And check out those curls! I love his crazy hair and it truly is crazy ever since he threw his brush and it landed under the chest of drawers yesterday.