Just another magic Monday

Ahh, the wonders of the phone conjoint. What is a phone conjoint you ask? Well, that's when one of my patients and I attempt to do family therapy over the phone with the family member. We put the family member on speakerphone and sit in a triangle with the phone as one of the corners to try and pretend that the other person is there. The interesting thing about phone conjoints is you never know where the other is going to be or what he or she is going to be doing. The other interesting thing is that insurance reviewers want to see a documented family session each week and wah-la, the advent of the phone conjoint. Here is a sample of a conversation today.

A: Hi, H. How are you?

Wife: I'm sick. Sorry I couldn't come in to the office today. (the screams of two young children fighting begin in the background)

A: That's okay. Life happens.

Patient: I encouraged her to take care of herself for a change.

Wife: Boys, don't put the flashlight down the toilet! Okay, I'm back, sorry about that.

A: Sounds like a busy day.

Wife: I SAID, don't put the flashlight down the toilet! No, don't use PVC pipe as swords. Why? Because it's dangerous. Sorry, sorry, I'm back.

A: Well, we were going to go over patient's impact letter today. (The impact letter is a statement from the spouse to the patient about how the patient's addiction has impacted him or her. It's usually a very emotional process.)

But...

Wife: Let's wait until next week when I can come into the office.

A: Great!

Patient: Great!

Wife: For the last time, do NOT put the flashlight down the toilet! Talk to you next week! Bye! Boys....!!!

Ahh, the joy of this type of therapeutic endeavor.

On another note, I answered a call this morning from someone with the wrong number. No big deal. Until I called the number back this afternoon thinking I was calling someone else. So, the caller mistakenly called me and then I mistakenly called back. Do two wrongs make a right in this case? No, just stupidity? Ok, I'll give you this one.