Hands

The weekend is drawing to a close. I'm exhausted from a busy weekend of call. I was already tired out on Friday from last week and I'm anything but ready for another week of work. I try to give 100% at work and 100% at home and end up feeling like I'm at about 150% which is not sustainable, yet still not good enough. 

Hunter and I squeezed in some snuggle time as well as books and songs and laughs. Jared got our grass cut and we used our new "pet" vacuum on the house. I didn't believe in vacuuming any more until Hunter started to roll around and come up covered in Scout hair. So, it's back to adult life for me with the vacuum. 

Sometimes I look around at all of the adults in the world and just wonder how we all made it. How did all of our parents survive the raising of children. I love Hunter madly and deeply, but motherhood and parenthood is not for the faint of heart. He demands time, attention, and energy. It is a joy and a drain. I do realize that I'm writing this after a full week of work followed by a full weekend of call and many nights of little sleep. I fantasize sometimes about a good nap and a full night's sleep. I remember when eight hours a night with zero interruptions was normal. I didn't even get up to pee. 

I popped back on facebook for a bit to catch up on some of the gossip. I missed some interesting things. However, I already find that it pulls at my happiness and drives me a little bat-y. The photos are still too perfect and happy. The mothers are all smiling with their beautiful children. I have the beautiful smiling photos too, but I also want the honesty. I want to hear the other mothers say the hard things in addition to the fun. We'll see how long this facebook run goes. The last one was just a couple of days.