World Cup

I hired our first paid, non-family member babysitter yesterday. I realized after picking her up that I was very nervous. I'd never hired a babysitter before! I still feel like I should be the 16 year-old girl getting picked up by an adult rather than the other way around. Jared and I were just outside working in the yard so it helped me relax knowing that I could zip upstairs and check on Hunter. 

Today my mother is over with her housekeeper. Mom mentioned a few weeks ago that she didn't have much for her housekeeper to do. I said that I had plenty for her to do and walaa! Mom drove her housekeeper over to clean for me. What a tremendous gift! Plus, then Mom gets to hold Hunter, Jared finishes up the yard work, and I handle the bills and the loose ends of life. 

Here is a sweet photo of Hunter watching the World Cup with Uncle Warren. Hunter was very worried that the USA wasn't going to pull off a win against Ghana.

As I was walking with Hunter and Scout this morning, I was reminiscing about my maternity leave. I originally thought it would be just magical. And in many ways, it has been magical. I experienced the birth of my own child with my husband by my side. I figured out how to breastfeed my child and that's all he's eaten for almost three months. Jared and I have gotten to spend quality time together with Hunter as a family. We've spent time with family both in Nashville and Birmingham. We've gone to the beach. I've had lazy days snuggling my baby and reading books. But, it's also been incredibly difficult. It was terrifying to bring a baby home. I got mastitis. I cried for a week straight as my hormones settled back into place. I've struggled to accept my changed body in spite of the miracle that it performed. I've struggled with loving my new life as a mother and missing the freedom of doing whatever I want,  when I want. I've missed being the fun aunt because I needed to feed the baby or tend to his cries. I've missed accomplishing an entire task at one time. I've resented having meals interrupted and wanted to overeat at night because Hunter is finally asleep and I wanted a reward, a comfort, a taste of food without distraction. 

Would I do it again? Yes, yes, yes. I'd just tell myself what every mother told me before: You are going to be more tired than you thought possible. It's going to be more stressful than you think. Be easy on yourself. It will get better. Something happens at the eight week point and you know you're going to make it. You will love your child more than you thought possible.