heart hands

I found out that it's Tuesday. I had to look at the calendar. I've gone into a strange, wonderful, floaty world of not working, loving and caring for an infant full time, sleeping and not sleeping at odd times, eating delicious carbo loaded foods, drinking as much caffeine as I want, and text messaging galore. 

From Tuesday at 9pm to Monday at 12 noon a lot has happened! 

We showed up at the hospital on Tuesday evening at 9pm and I was a bundle of nerves. I received two doses of cytotec (one at 10:45pm and one at 3:45am). The entire night the nurses were having me turn one way and then another as they monitored Hunter's heart beat as he was having dips in his heart rate that weren't necessarily attached to contractions. I became increasingly nervous as the night wore on and Jared and I did not get much, if any, sleep. I was thrilled to see my doctor the next morning around 7:30am just to know that she was there to be watchful of the situation with the nurses. 

She declared me at 2cm dilated and broke my water at 7:30am (felt like I peed myself and was totally not romantic) and I started to really feel labor. I had experienced some cramping sensations in the early morning hours, but things kicked up until 8:30am when I received the glorious epidural. Blessings to all of those who want to go natural. I have a high pain tolerance and was in some serious pain with each contraction while anticipating the brief moments of coming relief and simultaneously dreading the next contraction. 

I received the epidural from one of my father's former anesthesia students which was really fun as he had wonderful things to say about my Dad. I've had such sadness over not having Dad be a part of this

experience. It was glorious pain relief and I was ever grateful. 

Around 9:45am I told Jared that I was having pain and thought perhaps the catheter was poking me. I asked for the nurse who checked and told me that hot dog, I was 10 cm dilated and that was the baby's head causing pressure. 

My nurse called everybody into action. By 11:11am Hunter had arrived into the world, but only after a stressful time of figuring out that my tailbone sticks up and was causing a barrier, the cord was wrapped around Hunter's neck causing his heart rate to drop with each contraction, and he was looking to the side instead of tucking his little chin. The doctor used the vacuum to help him along and his poor head was more cone shaped than I have ever seen and continues to be a bit red and swollen. Jared was in charge of putting the oxygen mask on my face in intervals and I have never tasted such sweet oxygen! 

Hunter came out bluer than blue and not breathing. They tossed him up on me, cut the cord, and stimulated him before calling in the NICU team (not something I wanted to hear being called). Thankfully, he had stabilized with stimulation and oxygen and the NICU nurse let me kiss him on the forehead before they took him and Jared to the transitional nursery. 

Sidenote: I never made up a birth plan because I always heard that nothing goes as planned so why bother? The only expectation I realized that I had was the immediate hour of skin-to-skin contact with my child. I learned that it's wise to hold loosely to all expectations in the delivery room as it's a wild ride in there and survival and health of the baby and mother trumps the recommended bonding recommendations.

Thankfully, Hunter was only in the transitional nursery (which is apparently in the NICU, but not actually NICU) for about 1.5 hours before they returned him to me oxygen free. He weighed in at 5 pounds, 9 ounces. He was delivered to my arms and I cannot think of it without smiling. 

I am grateful to have a good doctor who handled the situation and kept us safe. I am thankful that my labor and delivery nurse was so wonderful. She was straightforward and encouraging. Labor and delivery is a messy place and I applaud those who can handle that much human experience (and bodily fluids and functions) on a regular basis. I am thankful that I didn't have to experience a NICU stay. I have empathy now for parents who are overcome with worry for their child and who have to be separated from him. I would have been devastated if Hunter had not been able to go home with me at delivery and if I had to keep driving to the hospital for a visit to only turn around and come home to a baby-empty house.

From there, we spent two nights in postpartum learning about how to care for an itty bitty human and hanging out with friends and family. I've felt very good and am thankful that I didn't have to have a C-section. We arrived home on Friday and Jared's grandmother has stayed with us and will be leaving on Friday. It's been a blessing to have someone ready to hold Hunter so I can shower and sleep and get a few things done. I took Hunter to the pediatrician yesterday and added him to insurance and that felt like a really full day in addition to infant care. 

The first two nights were really hard because Hunter wanted to eat about every hour and I was terrified that he was going to quit breathing. Last night he ate every three hours and exhaustion won over my fears. Hunter has gained up to 5 pounds 12 ounces and actually has a little double chin. The newborn clothes that I thought looked so little previously are quite large on him. 

We've loved having visitors and getting to see friends and family. I've been very grateful for text messaging as I haven't had the energy or time for phone calls. It's wonderful to just send a quick picture or few words. 

Our friend came on Saturday and did a little photo shoot for us. I am in awe of the results we got and know that we could not have gotten better pictures in a studio for money. 

My brother, Warren, made the above bassinet and it is absolutely beautiful. Hunter sleeps very well in it.

Scout is doing fine with the baby. I think she is still trying to figure out what he is. She gave Hunter's toes a little lick and gets a little distressed when he cries. She likes to smell him when he has a dirty diaper. Other than that, she really just wants a little extra attention and a nap! 

That's all for now. Hunter is hungry and I need a nap!