Happy Halloween!

About me. I am doggone tired of working with addicts and alcoholics. I just am. I get tired of Bradford as well, but I realized recently that I am just worn out. I went to a conference that talked about "burn out" versus "compassion fatigue." It's both for me. It took me awhile to figure out that it wasn't just Bradford. I am lacking in empathy as well. The stories are starting to sound the same. The patients are very sick and some of the families are even sicker. I am looking around at jobs. If the hours were better, I'd wait tables for awhile. I made killer money waiting tables and I really enjoyed it. I loved the challenge and the pace. I loved the completeness of the job. But, I do not want to work nights and weekends now that I am married. I am longing for a really simple job right now. Like serving food at Zoe's or working in a cute little store. Something where people are happy and I get to make them happier. I have this thing where I really want people to like me. I can't shake it or make it go away. Which is a difficult need being a social worker and therapist because I often dig around topics that people don't want touched and ask questions that people don't want asked. I challenge and try to figure out the truth. That makes a lot of people angry. Especially axis 2 personality disordered women. It's no wonder that I enjoyed working in the "dog pound" of cottage 1 for so long. The young men were angry and pretended to be really tough. But, at least they weren't so drama oriented and borderline.

I'm sitting on the couch right now. It has been such a good fall day. I ate breakfast on the patio while Scout played. Then she tried to get my sleepy head husband out of bed.

It is still weird to say "husband." I'm finally referring to myself as Alison Wilson and I signed my new name today without having to think about it.

Anyway, back to the fall day. I got a pedicure. Deep pink with some purple in it for the toenails. I then ate lunch outside with Brigid. We had a really good time talking and I hope I was able to reassure her that life will become less dramatic as she moves on from high school. Life is more complicated now, but less dramatic. I know who I am (for the most part) and either like it or have accepted it. Then, on to the bank and the grocery store. Then, taco soup and football and a nice walk with Scout at sunset. And, Halloween! Like I said earlier, I'm sitting on the couch and blogging between trick-or-treaters. I love having a home! I have two bowls of candy for the cute little lady bugs, buzz light years, and ghosts. I cannot wait to decorate for Christmas. Hooray!

One of the best parts about my home is the flowers. I have flowers in the front yard, pots in the back, and 5 hanging baskets of flowers. They have hung on through the mild fall season. The petunias have been great hummingbird attracters. Thank you petunias.