Happy Birthday!

Well, Jared and I have had Scout about a year. We got her when she was about 6 weeks old. We don't have a specific doggie birthday date. But, we choose today to celebrate. We got her a few new rawhide treats and two new stuffed animals to destroy. All in all, I think she had a good birthday.

In the above picture, Scout and I are snuggling after her bath. The three of us went for a run/walk this morning and were soaked with sweat within minutes.

One thing I love about Scout is that Jared and I continually make new friends because of her. We met a nice lady from the neighborhood today and her adorable little boy. Yes, Scout processed to herd the boy around the trails and was quite patient as the little guy tried to feed Scout rocks. I think she and I may become walking/work out buddies. I walk with Sadhna about twice a week and would be glad to add another friend to the schedule.

So, I worked yesterday. It was not a good day and I came away feeling totally inadequate. Those feelings of inadequacy are one thing that I have never conquered, even with therapy. I can talk to myself logically about my clinical skills and tell myself about grace, but I often don't feel it on the inside in a true meaningful way. I wish I could have peace with myself about just doing the best I can, but I want perfection. See, I have to run group one Saturday morning a month. So, it's not a skill I practice on a regular basis and then I get upset with myself when I don't run a great group and pick up on everything and call people on everything (some things that I think of later). Blah, I just wanted away feeling like a lost child instead of a 29 year old woman.

I need to paint again and get lost in the joy of that. However, I think myself out of that as well. I get convinced that I will not be able to produce something wonderful even though I adore my last two paintings. I have done a couple of paintings that I don't care for and sometimes I can't get over the fear that I'll never produce anything good again. I can definitely be my own worst critic and enemy.

I am thankful today for a good night's sleep last night and a good nap this afternoon. I am thankful for a fun day with my husband including a good workout, a lunch for two, dinner with Grandma and Pop, and a movie. I am thankful for a puppy who loves my unfailingly. I am thankful that Jared was able to fix the garbage disposal. I am thankful for my new haircut that makes me feel lighter and freer. I am thankful for good neighbors. I am thankful for my new nike tennis shoes with neon orange laces.