I spent a couple hours this morning at the courthouse. Oh wait! You are so behind. You know that I let the tire get basically flat and then Jared hit my car with his car door while trying to fix the tire. But, I bet you didn't know that much has happened in my car since that time. You see, what happened was...I hopped in the car to head to work. Usually, I hit the garage door button on the wall and up the door goes. However, I pushed the button and nothing happened. So, I got in the car, pushed the button, and started backing out. I hit the bottom of the garage door with the top of the car. Thankfully, the garage door is fine. However, the car is not. Paint scratched off, the windshield sprayer thingy gone. It was not a great morning. Well, next...I got pulled over on Saturday morning. I couldn't figure out what in the dickens I had done as I was basically sitting in traffic not even changing lanes. Oh yes, my car tags expired 6 months ago. The cop gave me a $150 ticket and sent me on my way to the Jefferson County Courthouse, ie. hell on earth. I'm basically a disaster in the X-Terra these days. A complete disaster. So, I got to the courthouse at 7am to stand in line. Thankfully, I got there early because there were already about 40 people in front of me and by 8am, the line was wrapped around the building. The lady at the window was pissed off about helping me (no great surprise there!). I finally got a car title with my married name and two very expensive stickers. I then got an estimate on the car. The guy helping me said, "garage door, huh?" Yes, thanks. Garage door.
Connor had surgery today. It was a long one. 10:30-4:30pm. The doctor seems positive about getting the tumor out, but Connor will have an MRI in the morning to check. If there is more tumor, the doctor will go back in on Friday. We'll get the pathology results next week.
It's amazing how much I have wanted and sought comfort in food recently. I've been having fresh veggies from the garden and sweet, juicy fruits, but I've just craved fried and carby and sugary. It's difficult to move through crisis with healthy eating because time is of value and energy is lacking. I just stopped by the store this evening even though we leave in two days. I was tired of scrounging around for lunch food. I think lately of disappearing for a few hours into a field and just resting. How thankful I am that next week I will be on Deseret Ranch in Utah fly fishing with only four other people on a vast expanse of land. I will go for hours without speaking much. I can feel the tension start to disappear just thinking about it. Catch. Release. Catch. Release. Kind of like breathing. In. Out. In. Out.
So, I finished up the mindfulness class last night. We did an awesome writing group. Loved it! I got kind of up in my head though. The other women wrote these beautiful poems and words. I just started writing and ended up with 2.5 pages full of the "f" word. Life has been tough lately and I'm pissed at some people and situations. It was nice to write with pen and paper and just let the cussing flow. I didn't have much that I felt like I could share with the group though. Oh well. It's an exercise I'd like to use in therapy though. Really peaceful, truthful, and beautiful.
Well, it's off to bed for me. I've got two horribly busy days at work coming up and then vacation starting early on Saturday morning. Jared and I fly out at 6:40 in the morning!
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