what?

Here's the deal. Having a puppy is one of the best things I've ever had in my life. Talk about stress reliever and stress inducer. First, the stress reliever. Scout has the floppiest ears I've ever seen, she follows me around like a shadow, and runs to the door every time I come in. She races across the yard into my arms and likes to crawl up the slide in the backyard and then slide down and fall off. I spend a ton of time outside now and eat at least one meal on the back patio. I have witnessed sunrises and sunsets and skies full of stars due to our time playing outside together. Second, the stress inducer. I feel like a have a little kid at times and I had a small meltdown the other day when I had to discipline her and I felt like I was screwing her up and being inconsistent and I flashforwarded to my children sitting in therapy someday talking about their horrible mother. It was a rough morning. Jared can testify that this is ll true and not just an overreaction for the blog. For anyone who knows me relatively well through college dorm rooms or spending the night at First Light women's shelter, you know that I fall asleep on the way to the pillow and don't wake up until the alarm sounds. I don't like to be disturbed and I don't like missing my zzz's. However, I have been popping out of bed at all hours of the night to make sure that Scout gets to the bathroom and doesn't have to hold her small bladder for too long. I mean that too...popping out of bed. Stranger things have happened I'm sure, but not to me.

I'm sitting outside right now actually. The sky is pink and purple and the trees are black against it. There is one star and a few strangling birds. Scout has been playing on the slide to get her kicks in for the night. Oh, and FYI. My toesnails are sky blue and my hair has lowlights of brown. What?