who'd have thought

As I left my parents' house on Sunday afternoon, Mom gave me a hug and told me to "Go save the world." She knows me better than I thought she did. She knows I have always been trying to save the world. It just takes longer than I thought it would. I underestimated the number of hurting individuals in the world.
Apparently, many people know me better than I thought. I thought I could slyly start blogging again and no one would notice. So, today I casually mentioned to Amy that I started writing again. She said, "I know. I figured you would after the break-up." I am not all that sneaky after all. Sometimes I tell my patients that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Apparently, I am living proof of that statement.
My sponsor is moving away. I am very sad. She has blessed me with her time, her knowledge, her joy, her insight, and her recovery. I will miss her. I am on the search for a new sponsor. I want to worry, but I just know that God will provide the right sponsor at the right time. This program is teaching me so much about trust and acceptance.
For a long time, I've been praying that my mother would change. As I've grown into an adult and with the help of the OA program and therapy, I am finding that I am the one changing. I dedicated time this past weekend to be with my mother. And I was able to see some of her gifts. She has a feisty, independent spirit. She adores my father. She loves her children fiercely and endlessly. She is generous. She volunteers her to time to organizations that really make a difference. She helps a local school, the local science museum for children, she helps Perenity (an organization that gathers used flowers from events, rearranges them, and then distributes them at hospitals, nursing homes, etc), she takes care of her grandchildren, she helps the eating disorder coalition of Tennessee. She offers a gift of time and energy that many people cannot give. And I got to be a part of that with her on Saturday and Sunday morning. On Saturday morning I went with her to the school's fundraiser. On Sunday morning I helped her collect used flowers and water and rearrange them. Just one hour each morning and I got to see her gifts instead of her defects. Praise God. I am changing. Maybe she is changing too. I'm not sure. But, the only person I can change is me, so I'm working on that.