quotes

"I've seen too many miracles not to believe," stated one of the women at my OA meeting last night.

I'm struggling with how to counsel effectively right now. I think I'm trying to grasp the fact that I cannot save my patients. It may sound silly, but one of my co-workers pointed out that I often judge my counseling skills by how the patient is acting in treatment. I've had many counselors along the way and two really stick out in my mind. They were extremely effective and helpful to me in my journey of recovery. But, they didn't save me. I believe that God put them there to help me save my own life. But, there were hundreds of "helpers" along my journey. I've had multiple therapists, nutritionists, family members, doctors, prayer warriors, friends, and now sponsors who help in my journey. I'm trying to grasp the fact that I will only be one piece of the puzzle. I may be a big piece of the puzzle for some, an almost nonexistent piece for others, but I am just a helper. I do believe God will use me. I just have to show up.

Sometimes I expect my patients to change too much in two weeks. They come in straight out of detox and I expect them to break through denial, become completely honest, be willing to go to any lengths, commit to 90 meetings in 90 days, become kind, patient, and considerate, be on time, clean their rooms, not talk to women, not break any rules. Good grief! I don't even do all of those things all the time and I have been in recovery for years! There are patients who we say are not appropriate for our facility because they cannot follow the rules, yet where do they belong? Boot camp? Wilderness camp? I don't know. Surely they belong somewhere.

Another woman at the meeting last night stated, "I"m having abnormal cravings for healthy things." Isn't that the truth? I know the program is working when I have abnormal cravings for prayer, meditation, kindness, self-care, honesty, good communication instead of the normal cravings for laziness, selfishness, resentment, exhaustion, approval. Love it.