be strong

Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to feel grown-up. I was hurrying down the stairs at work today into the detox center when it occurred to me that I still feel like I'm in college at times even though I'm 27 years old now. I mean, I wear this magical badge. It has a tiny picture of me and it states that Alison Downs is a primary counselor at Bradford Health Services. The badge is powerful. This badge that allows me to look through medical charts and attend staffing with a doctor, treatment director, assistant treatment director, assistant counselors, rec therapist, nurse, and other primary counselors. It allows me to present information to this group and get feedback. It allows me to work with patients all day and give them my "clinical" opinion, which is often simply my gut reaction. It allows me to talk with families and give them updates and ask them to attend al-anon meetings. I keep waiting for the counseling police to show up and figure out that I've been pretending all this time. That I don't really know what I'm doing in spite of my education or experience or badge and that it's a rouse. Pull the Bradford sticker off of the badge and a hello kitty one will be smiling from underneath.

My dear friend, Natalie, just sent me a little book entitled, 'Be Strong.' I love this. Friends are currently giving me wonderful books that make them think of me. Such wonderful surprises. The book is full of wonderful quotes about facing adversity with joy and hope. I think the following quote by Eloise Cole sums up my recovery process and my current profession. She writes, " Lend me your hope for awhile. A time will come when I will heal, and I will lend my renewed hope to others."

One summer day I was wearing a 'Life is Good' t-shirt and baseball cap. My nephew, Mike, read this and said, "Man, Aunt Alison, you must really think life is good!" I loved that. Yes, I do think life is good. It is not always fun or easy or kind, but overall, life is good. I love laughing now. I laugh frequently and loudly. I don't remember laughing as much before my eating disorder. There is something about walking through the fire that makes life precious and funny even. Francois Rabelais writes, "For all your troubles, I give you laughter." Amen.

A friend sent me the following funnies the other day. I included some of the best.


More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles..

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.