citrus

I am currently working on step 4 in the step process. So far, Renee and I have looked closely at a detailed timeline of my life and identified my character defects and assets. So many more assets than defects...kiiiiiiidding. Now, I am on to making a list of all my resentments. Whew. This is such a great step and it is simply wearing me out. Renee and I met for about two hours tonight and I could have just crawled under the table for a nap. So much awareness and insight is exhausting. Looking at motives and reasons and cause and effect. Oh my goodness, I just wanted to run back to ignorance at times.

So, I have made it almost a week since the break-up. I am doing okay. I have started writing and painting again. I am drawn to these activities when I am sad or confused or lonely or...whenever I feel the more uncomfortable emotions. I need to somehow channel these activities into the times when I feel the comfortable emotions as well.

Tomorrow is my pineapple birthday. Three years since I last purged (threw up, barfed, whatever you wanna call it) on purpose! Woot woot!!! Let's celebrate.